Lethal kids’ toys, as seen on SNL…

After finding poisonous melamine in pet food imported from China, consumers have also discovered melamine in cheap imported Chinese toothpaste (as much as I rag on the ADA for being a bunch of whores — which they certainly are — you should look for their logo on your toothpaste). Now consumers are discovering lead-based paint in children’s toys. Another report showed a plastic eyeball filled with kerosene. Last year saw a record number of product safety recalls for products manufactured in China. Nice…

American consumers are demanding greater oversight of imported goods. Of course, the NY Times is all over this. But didn’t SNL’s Consumer Probe scoop this back in 1977?

(Courtesy of SNL Transcripts)

Joan Face: My guest tonight is Mr. Irwin Mainway, President of Mainway Novelties, and Chairman of the Board of Mainway Latex Corporation. Mr. Mainway, you are clearly the main flagrant offender in this area. For instance, your company manufactures and distributes this Halloween costume.. [ picks it up and holds it ] ..Johnny Space Commander mask, which retails for $6.95. It’s nothing more than a plastic bag and a rubber band. This is very dangerous for young children!

Irwin Mainway: [ grabs the costume ] Okay, I’m gonna say something about my product right here, Johnny Space Commander mask. I want to say, first of all, it’s a very fluid item, in terms of sales. I don’t know, Miss Face, if you’re familiar with the movie “Star Wars”? Well, this movie has generated a tremendous amount of popularity and enthusiasm about space and science fiction. [ rips open the costume packaging ] This Johnny Space Commander mask here is a pure fantasy toy. I mean, you know, kids can have a lot of fun with a toy like this, you know? Let me show you.. [ puts the plastic bag over his head, then wraps the rubber band around it ] “Hello, hello, this is Johnny Space Commander. I’m in deep space, I’m gonna land the rocket now!” You see what I mean? [ takes off the plastic bag ] You see what I mean? It’s a pure fantasy toy!

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